Business networking tests our social graces as well as our ability to describe what we do in a clever and memorable way without sounding rehearsed. I’ve also learned the value of keeping myself in check in the face of even the most unexpected turn of events because my response will have an immediate effect on how I am perceived and remembered in that moment.
For example, recently, I attended a networking event. When I arrived, a woman I had never met approached me. She said she knew of me and wanted to hear all about me and my profession. She seemed very attentive, and you may agree that this might initially seem quite flattering.
After some time, I politely excused myself and moved around the room talking with others. Occasionally I noticed out of the corner of my eye that she was waiting for another moment to engage me. Sure enough, she quietly approached the circle of people with whom I was speaking and stood beside me, awaiting her turn to jump in, while remaining oblivious to others in the group. It soon became clear this person had set out to monopolize the conversation, and was a relentless name-dropper who attempted to use others to gain introductions – and business cards. Needless to say, the group dissolved shortly thereafter.
Looking for business opportunities through networking can be difficult for anyone due to shyness or fear of rejection. I realized that I could overcome my initial fear of introducing myself to strangers by first deciding to take a real interest in them as people, while remaining respectful and polite. In my experience, people who are insincere or manipulative in their efforts usually end up affecting the situation negatively, as witnessed by the person I described earlier.
While it can be intimidating to approach people you don’t know, we all have to start somewhere. Here are some road-tested tips to avoid being a networking stalker and being a person with whom others enjoy speaking:
- Before heading out to an event, inform yourself about who is going to be there. Do a little research ahead of time about a few attendees you are interested in meeting so you know a little bit about them and conversation can flow easily from the outset.
- Avoid going to an event with the single goal of meeting one specific person. He or she may be on my list of people to meet, but I run the risk of closing myself off to other networking opportunities if I am focused on one person.
- Focusing on how you can help the person you are speaking with rather than how they can help you immediately makes you a “person of interest.” The conversation generally turns into a mutually beneficial one.
- When I make a great connection with one person and the conversation has gone on for some time, I suggest that we meet for coffee or lunch to continue the discussion. Not only does this give me another opportunity to exchange information, it also frees my conversational partner to speak with others.
- When approaching a group of people already engrossed in conversation, listen attentively before jumping in. I avoid interrupting by waiting to be asked to introduce myself, which shows respect for those already in conversation.
- Before offering my business card, or asking for one, I wait until I have made a real connection. This will ensure that my card is associated with a memorable conversation and will not be relegated to the bottom of the junk drawer.
Networking isn’t an exact science, it’s a learned skill, and over time you become more adept at reading situations, including the body language of those you’re interacting with. Success lies in always being aware of how your behaviour affects those around you and your ability to add to the conversation rather than monopolize it.
This article was originally posted on LinkedIn.
