Unless you are alone, you are often before an audience, whether you realize it or not. Whether you are in public or making a presentation in a boardroom or before an audience of hundreds, you are being observed. Making a connection with strangers in public who you will likely never see again is usually not as important as connecting with people in a social or business setting. However, you are constantly making connections of a fleeting or long-term nature.
Connecting with your audience goes well beyond the concept of practicing correct etiquette and ‘being good with people.’ Your ability to engage others, whether they are strangers, friends, prospects, colleagues, or clients—and build the professional networks crucial to your success—largely depends on your ability to connect with them.
The quality of your connection with an audience is based first on the trust you earn from them – and the sooner the better.
I define making strong connections as a combination of deploying your interpersonal communications skills, awareness of other people and the world in general, and personal and business networks to get things done. This could entail getting a promotion, successfully launching a new business, or being successful in your bid for political office. Contributions of your time and professional skills you make to your community also add to your trustworthiness and your ability to make robust connections.
Here are tips on how to earn trust and respect to forge strong connections in five common business and social situations.
Speeches and Presentations
Respect your audience and the third parties you mention (unless you are part of a formal debate where showing sincere respect for your opponents would appear odd.) If you diminish the roles of others in your speech, chances are pretty good that you will alienate many audience members. A recent example involves Raymond Moore, former CEO of the BNP Paribas Open at Indian Wells, California. As part of his comments at a recent, large trophy presentation, Moore said that Women’s Tennis Association members “ride on the coattails of the men” in fuelling the growing popularity of women’s tennis. Women’s tennis star Serena Williams’ subsequent remarks fanned the flames that eventually forced Moore to resign.
There is nothing wrong with putting your personal ideas or opinions forward to inform, influence, or entertain an audience in a passionate way. Crossing the line that separates respect and disrespect can instantly cut off your connection with your audience. Worse, it can have damaging repercussions that have a lasting effect on your personal brand.
Interviews
In addition to being punctual, appropriately dressed, concise and prepared for the conversation, connecting with your interviewer is just as important as producing the most impressive resume among all the job candidates.
Many first interviews are held essentially to view a candidate and determine if they have the credentials and communications skills to do the job. Research confirms that candidates who make a connection with their interviewer(s) in the first few minutes of the conversation tend to be selected over those who don’t.
You can build a connection by listening carefully to the interviewer and letting them complete the question before jumping in with what you believe to be the right answer. Rushing or over-speaking can quickly smother the chances of connecting. Pausing to think before responding tells the interviewer that you respect the question and that it is worth careful consideration.
Unlike in other business networking situations, you should also hold back on connecting with interviewers on LinkedIn and other social channels. This can be seen as presumptuous.
You can strengthen your connection with the interviewer by sending them a brief hand-written thank you note within 24 hours after the interview. Thank them for their time and interest and say that you enjoyed meeting them and found the conversation valuable. Avoid leading comments such as “I am looking forward to working with you.” If you really want the job and feel your chances are good, end with, “I look forward to our next conversation.”
Business Networking
Among the most powerful words in creating a connection with someone you have just met in a networking situation are, “I didn’t know that. Could you expand on your thoughts?” Often, when people network, they are thinking about their next comment, waiting to jump in to showcase their own knowledge. This makes it hard to actively listen to others and build an authentic, two-way conversation. When you express genuine interest in something someone has said and ask them to expand on their thought or idea, they appreciate it. And they will view you as sincere and outward looking.
Part of making a good connection is knowing when to ‘let it breathe” by graciously concluding the conversation. When you sense the best of the conversation is over, suggest to your conversational partner that you look forward to speaking with them again soon but don’t want to monopolize them. You will both leave the conversation on a positive note. (You can use the same approach with someone who is “over-refreshed” or wants to keep the conversation going unnecessarily.)
Social Settings
“Sharing” is often regarded as our unburdening/sharing of personal successes and issues on people you know well or have just met. “Over sharing” is one of the fastest ways to disconnect with someone, as they grow uncomfortable with a barrage of personal details delivered in inappropriate settings and at the wrong time.
The sharing to which I refer involves making a point of introducing one person to another in an effort to expand other’s horizons. After a few minutes of conversation with one or two people, ask them if they would like to expand the conversation and then bring someone else to join in. (Make sure you remain in the conversation instead of hastily moving on to start another. Doing so would be rude and undo the connection you are trying to create or strengthen.) Your ability to bring people together in a way that makes everyone comfortable is evidence of your ability to connect and build trust.
This approach can also be effective in business settings where you can show leadership in enriching the conversation.
Making connections combines art and science and we can use many tactics to make us appear interesting in the eyes of others. It is ultimately our conscious wish to engage others while being ourselves that results in the best connections – on a business or personal level.
This article was originally posted on LinkedIn.
